"I considered this. Mostly, because I'd been lying my ass off when I denied that I'd been flirting with Seth. I had been. Only, I didn't want to admit...it on the account of being so afraid that Seth would make some kind of move on me. True, there was part of me--mostly my eyes and my hormones--that was attracted to Seth. He was attractive. But, Aaron had been attractive, too, and that had gotten me into enough trouble. I really was afraid of Seth liking me. So in all honesty, I didn't even. It was her lover's sperm. He pulled the finger out joined it with a second and pushed both back in. She groaned half in pain and half in pleasure that time because of the speed with which he inserted those fingers. He started pumping in and out with his fingers reveling in the sensation. It did look and feel as erotic as he had thought it would. However, he soon learned that it was difficult to maintain the tempo his body wanted while at the same time using his fingers in this way. After two. Some phrases almost jumped off the page, ‘submitting to another’, ‘allowing yourself to be controlled’ focus in on the physical and forgetting the spiritual’, being taken in by appearances and ‘foreseeing a bleak future’. Panic was rising in my chest when the sound of the kettle boiling made me jump. I switched off my phone, returned it to my bag and made myself a coffee. I sat back down at the table and took a small sip before placing the cup down. I slowly lost myself in thought – a mix of. .. what we did that night," she said in worried tone."I won't, Julie, unless they ask me directly if anything has happened between us. I won't lie to them. I can't do that and expect them to trust me." Okay, I guess," she said cautiously."Julie, why don't you just let me do this and then we'll see how it goes. Then we can decide then what comes next, okay?" Yeah, okay Robbie." She still sounded doubtful. "Good luck. Will I see you Tuesday night?" she asked hopefully."Yes you will," he said.
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